shanti, shanti, basnuhos...

the CA elections came and went. i spent the time in front of the large screen TV in Gautam's apartment. it is an historic event and i will always remember being present in the capital of this change bound country. we ventured outside early and saw a few polling stations. men and women were dressed up, excitedly waiting to cast their votes. the women wore beautifully colorful saris. men and women lined up in different lines, to prevent injury if people got pushy...or something. anyway, it was a festive feeling event.

now i've spent the last few days in front of the TV as the ballots are individually counted. it is a slow process, as voting was not done electronically and the ballots were just paper with a backward swastika stamped by the chosen candidate's name. overall the voting was done in a peaceful manner, welcomed by the internationally community and the citizens of nepal. the days and weeks leading up to the vote were plagued by violence, intimidations, murders, and fear. i personally never felt unsafe, but it was disheartening to know that these things were taking place. the candidates and members of the political parties put themselves and their families in danger by hoping for a Naya Nepal and a chance at democracy. the gernally peaceful manner of the election day (a few people died and voting was suspended in some regions) was a hopeful sign.

now the results are coming quickly and constantly. and the "ex-rebels" as the world is calling them have prevailed overwhelmingly. the moaists, or moabadi as they are called here, have won in many more places than expected, and by surprisingly large margins. now everywhere is talk. moabadi, moabadi, moabadi. i hear the word every few minutes it seems. and the talk is not bad. people are hopefully defeated. the old, "trusted" parties have been defeated embarrassingly. for some this signals the will of the people for change, but also it is tinged with the violence of the past, intimidation and fear the people felt and may continue to feel. the leader of the moaists proclaimed a few weeks before the election the if they did not win the majority "a peaceful war" would continue for the causes of the moabadi.

i am not sure what is instore for this small country. as i read about the economy, oil prices, rice crisises around the world, daily bombings in the middle east and elsewhere, war in sri lanka, election disputes in zimbabwe, petty behavior in the usa's own primary elections, i wonder what i'm doing here, what i'm doing at all. ke garne? means what to do? in Nepali. it is actually not said very often, but westerners, tourists, whoever have coined it as a key phrase of this place. i'm feeling a bit overwhelmed, lost, and just pointless these days. i'm asking myself kina garne? why do? i know it is a passing phase, a momentary stall in my usually hopeful attitude.

when things are changing here, at home, when i cannot engage in any of them as i should, i am standing still as things spin out of control around me. sighs...i just hope this peace is here to stay.

11 march, 2008

i've been in nepal one month now. still it seems normal somehow. i've been meaning to write about the amazing web that connects me to this place. first its occidental. melyssa and gabe's plans are what first made it possible for me to be here. they planned almost a year ago to be in this place. i meant it when i said i would meet them here, but i don't know if i really believed it could become a reality. then sam is here so that's three good friends in nepal at one time. it i am meant to be here, it is now. once i almost decided to book my ticket, my mom met Hillary, a woman at 24 hour fitness who is working to start an NGO here in Kathmandu. It aims to reduce the large population of street dogs here and set up local and international adoption for the dogs. She put me in contact with her good friends who i have spent time with going to cultural festivals, sightseeing, and beginning more long term projects. Gautam, a school principal has big plans for me once Gabe and Melyssa leave. Anil and Ram also have many opportunities for me to see new things and also influence the community. Since I've been here I've met a good friend of Ashley's, Tanya once time. Her friend Jess is a good friend of Kali's, another Portland connection. Another Portland connection began officially last week. As some of you know, I met a man about my age on a Trimet bus a few weeks before I left. He gave me the name of a Nepali teacher in Portland named Daya. I met with him at his wif'es shop on Sandy and 42nd (my hood). He gave me some journals on Newar studies he published with his son. This week I finally delivered them to Subin, his son here in Kathmandu. I hope to see him and his family more. As I write this, I am Pokhara at the hotel managed by a friend of Ram's (Hillary's friend), Dharma. They have a cultural show of music and dance playing now so i hear flutes, drums, cymbals, and energy.

I guess it comes in waves. The naturalness of being here and the weirdness of it too. i've been smashed up against people, baskets, and seats in the public transportation, crossed the reeking Bagmati river, seen crippled beggars with mangled fingers, limbs, been approached by small children asking for chocolate and breast feeding mothers seeking spare change. i've seen beautiful countryside (even a few mountain views), Buddhist and Hindu cultural heritage sights, restored buildings, Tibetan dance, Buddhist monks, Hindu temples, stupas, Newar villages and the simple daily life of the village people. i've met educated Nepalese youth, over stimulated toddlers, educators, and dreamers. all have an interest in a New Nepal, a semi reality that could begin to materialize in a month after the CA elections. the problems this country face are visible even in the most 'western focused' areas. in Thamel, the tourist hub, we walked past a groupd of kids sniffing glue, smoking, and urinating on the sidewalk midday. Dogs and children lose their hair, trash layers mar ancient monuments, electricity, gas for cooking and transportation run short, drinking water constantly causes intestinal diseases. these problems are immediately apparent. imagine those hidden beneath the exterior. hope i see as well. beauty everywhere. in the people and bright color in clothing, painted buildings, fruit, thanka paintings, and food. color that can inspire. i hope. keep energy and belief in chance alive. this is such an important time and i pray for these people and this place. for a future where the sacred mountains once again look down upon the valley people through clean air and where the fresh water runs happily through a peaceful, prospering city, alive with culture, pride, and opportunity.

ramro chha, bhok lagyo chiana!

much has happened since my first entry i think but it is hard to comprehend and express at the moment. i am still trying to soak up the language and culture as well as the political unrest and difficult daily living situations.

it is hard for me, as a guest in this country, to begin to sympathize or understand the challenges facing the local people of this village Taukhel and of this Nepal. as a guest we are consistently brought tea and biscuits, even when cooking gas is unavailable for most of the population in Kathmandu. we are offered snacks, warm water to shower (when the sun shines strong enough), a western style toilet, and or own bed and room. in this house 37 children and young adults occupy maybe 8 rooms. four of us volunteers take 2 rooms. and this Ama Ghar has so much compared to most other people. it is so good. each child has art supplies donated by visiting korean teachers, cards and board games, sports equipment, DVDs and CDs and so many strong willed, educated, independent minds. when the power is out, music still finds a way. the lights just came on but the excited cheers barely interrupted the singing i hear from my room. today the newspaper announced that each household will receive 6 more hours of electricity per week. that means load shedding will be in affect for 41 hours (meaning the power is shut off) instead of 47 per week!

i am amazed by the strength of the people here. just like anywhere else the children are full of energy and talent. many people are well educated and informed about world events and history. much more educated than me. and yet they still look to me, a college graduate with no experience, as the answer to their lack of inspiration. what do i have to offer? very little yet i represent to them something great. i don't exactly know what that means yet. i don't want to let anyone down, but i am doing all i can do to soak up all the experiences i'm having.

nothing seems all that profound initially but i know this experience will always influence my life decision and the paths i take.

ama dal! auntie bhat!

it is hard to believe it's only been a little over a week since i stepped off Thai Airways 319 into the sunlight of Kathmandu. that days was by far the clearest day we've had and i don't mean because there are always clouds. we could see the Himalayan range, which i have learned is a rarity in this valley. a rarity because of the smog filled atmosphere which makes the hill less than 2 miles away a greenish brown blur. Environmentally speaking, Nepal is discouraging, politically speaking, the future just as unstable as the trash piles floating down the Bagmati river. But then there are the children. I have been blessed in so many ways. First with the opportunity and support to leave my home and encounter a new world in this small, volatile country. second, with the companionship of melyssa and gabe, who showed up at my hotel in Bangkok with bags of Malaysian snacks and Thai food. And third with the many friends awaiting our arrival in Nepal. My experiences thus far have included exploring many Hindu temples, Buddhist stupas, eating samosas and roti (flatbread), experiencing a festival in a village called Sankhu, riding public transportation (mostly small vans packed full of people bouncing on dusty roads), and Ama Ghar. The majority of our time has been at a lovely four storey house full of 37 children, 4 volunteers and a rotating set of Nepalese staff and the American director. It is a full house, a loving home that has made being away from my own too easy. Melyssa and I share a room and the situation is ideal. We wake up when we want about 6:45 but get to lay in bed for awhile while the children get breakfast and dressed for school. We get amazing tea and then help the children with their homework if they need it. When we stay at Ama Ghar for the day, we are served dal bhat, rice and lentils at 10 which is always amazing. The children return by 4 and we spend the afternoon playing volleyball, hide and seek, or drawing. The children are so funny and kind and loving. The youngest ones are 8 and seem younger than that to me. They are small but very smart and love drawing (and particularly love having me draw for them). They are very well taken care of but of course just seek attention from us. I am so glad they have the resources and encouragement to explore their creativity. All of the children have their own talents and I am amazed by their dancing, guitar playing, reading skills, and desire to teach us their language and culture.

Being in Nepal feels very natural to me. I know i stick out as a foreigner but it doesn't seem to hold such a the negative stigma as other places. it is a privilege i am well away of being a white american. We have met several nice Nepalese people our age who are wiling to help us and show us around. We have spent several good sight seeing days with Anil, a friend of Hillary from Portland. He took us to his village, has taught us some Nepali and checks in with us frequently to make sure we are happy happy. We also met with Sam who is in Kathmandu and will see other friends from college and Portland as time unfolds. I am healthy and happy thus far. Internet is difficult to get right now so please be patient with me as I will not be able to update very often. love you all.

hours

just weeks

not going to lie i'm pretty nervousexcited about the trip, not excitednervous. nervous a little more than excited, but both feelings are strongly present. i am going to LA thursday which will be a good escape from all the things i should be doing, but those things of course remain patiently waiting for me when i return. but it is all doable. my main goal is to spend quality time with everybody i love, but not be stretched. my grandma is my biggest priority. and my parents of course.

i'm so thankful to have found comfortable in portland. i could come back and know i'd be taken care of by my friends and family. i feel confident that this is a place to always call home. but wander i must and there is no telling when the wonder of it all will subside. but comfort i have found when i'm ready. i hope it is here to embrace my weary traveled soul in its water heavy clouds and spring shooting grass. thank you thank you this place.

blazers videos

i felt like posting these because they make me happy.