small people

children are the hope, the future, the joy

children also show the faults in human beings. it is hard to be so critical of such small, beautiful, energetic beings. i want to think they are all innocent, kind, well intentioned, and self less. but this is just not the case. much of my experience has been surrounding children. large groups of them in varying situations. sometimes in the classroom, other times on field trips, and mostly in their own home (except there are 40 living in one house). it is just tough to give so many individuals the attention they all deserve. what i've noticed most is the loud, courageous, and sometimes just outright pushy students/children/people in general end up getting the most attention whether they deserve it our not. hmm...i feeling that i sound negative. though it is disappointing to realize that all children are not perfect angels (especially when they are together in a big group), spending so much time listening to shouting voices and so much energy trying to quiet them also inspires me. if we could better utilize the excess energy these children have, and give them the kind of attention that allows them to do this, i think so many things could be improved. they are brilliant, creative, kind, and funny in so many unimaginable ways. for all their faults, they still are the hope, the future and the joy.

soon i leave nepal. yes, i will return. but first i must leave. i am going to india in a few weeks to experience a new culture and work in Ladakh. This is a very Northeast area of India nearby Tibet. it will be strange and inspiring, magical, yet humbling. i cannot even imagine.
imagine: http://www.pbase.com/asianodyssey/leh.
i cannot lie. i am ready for a change. i have done all i can here in nepal but really i feel like i have done very little. it is hard to do things, it seems. i feel the most i have done is created some friendships which will i hope stay with me forever. the conversations i've had with people, old and young, about life, struggle, hope, and despair are most valuable to me. though the words we spoke have now flown into the mists, the feelings they gave me will remain with me for much longer. i've luckily shared the experience with some good friends from the USA also so it will be a good support to me to have such people in my life. i have been here on my own almost four and a half months, but i never truly felt alone. hospitality toward strangers is a skill so many of us have forgotten. for foreigners the USA is a rough, unforgiving, often unwelcoming place. it is just the opposite here. for this i am thankful. i will truly miss my many didis, dajus, bahinis, bhais, anties, uncles, and aamas. what to do without such loving, welcoming, helpful family.

but it is too soon to say goodbye. i will leave but this place will always be close to my spirit and lifeblood. how to make both families happy? how to be so close and so far at once? just because i am not home, does not mean i do not miss it. just because i have a new family, does not mean i do not miss the old.

thinking of you and thanking you.